Friday, July 2, 2010

*Warning*

Okay, based on the title, you all know that this is going to be one of those whiny, venty, I want this really bad right now posts. I just can't help it.

So, I just returned from Milwaukee a few days ago and I will be returning in a matter of 5 days. I'm super excited to be going and I suppose that is what is keeping myself from pulling the hair out of my head. So, lets get on with it.

I really really really really want to be in North Carolina already. I'm tired of being away from him. Mr. M and I have been doing long distance for 4 years now and I'm quite irritated by it. We have only another month until we are leaving for North Carolina and I'm just tired of waiting! I'm really losing patience and it's super frustrating when you are doing everything alone.

Don't get me wrong, I love Mr. M with all my heart and I can't wait to be with him but I'm busting my ass for this wedding and to move all my stuff down there while he gets to do whatever he wants. I don't know, I just don't feel it's fair. For example, he's going with his guy friends to Busch Gardens (when he hates roller coasters and I've been begging him to go to Six Flags with me, which he refuses) for the 96 while I stay at home and go through all my things and write thank-you notes all weekend. I don't even have any plans for the 4th because I'm LAME. It's just not fair to me.

I hate money. I hate it so much. I hate how I never have enough of it no matter how much I try to save and how much debt I'm in because of my schooling and how I'm never going to go on a vacation ever because I have so much to pay off. I really want to get a job in North Carolina so that I can save and pay off bills and GET RID OF MY CREDIT CARD. I've been loathing that thing and I want it to disappear.

I'm not the type to cry over little things (or even big things) but right now... I'm frustrated. I feel like ripping out my hair, crying in my pillow, drinking, anything to get this frustration out of my body. I just can't shake it. I might as well do something constructive and start rummaging through all my shit to move down there.

Sorry for the debbie-downer post. I really am. I hate writing these but I just had to this time. I'll be commenting on more blogs tonight. Thanks for reading and for all the feedback you all have given me lately. I really appreciate it. <3

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