Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Taking it all in

Well, I took a pregnancy test a few days ago and it came up negative. A year ago, I would have been ecstatic since I really didn't want kids at that time. It was just such a weird feeling that I didn't have the same reaction that I would have had a year ago. I was actually disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. Is that weird?

I mean, don't get me wrong. Neither Mike or I are ready for kids, financially, physically, or mentally. But a part of me was sad that I wasn't. We weren't trying to get pregnant but I would have been happy anyway if I was. It only makes it harder that everyone around me is either TTC or pregnant already.*sigh* Life goes on I guess.

In other news, Mike has signed up for a job where he would be leaving me for 6 weeks at a time multiple times a year (at least more than 4). Not exactly what I signed up for when I became a veteran wife. I mean, if he really wants to do this, I would support him 100% just like I did when he was deployed twice in the Marine Corps. I would do anything for him. Plus, the money he would be getting while gone wouldn't hurt either since we need to get out of debt. Badly.

I'm trying not to let my mind get ahead of me. I'm really bad when it comes to taking my own advice. I usually sit at my computer and try to talk to other wives about not getting hyped up about deployments when they aren't set in stone and yet, here I am already being frantic about something that might not happen. It's still not official yet and I realize his reasoning behind doing this is to help our family. It will just be hard for him to be going back and forth all the time. I will miss him :(

I knew the military lifestyle would eventually find me again! Ha ha!


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