Monday, March 19, 2012

A break?

I am in need of some advice on how to deal with something like this since I've never had this happen to me before. Are you ready?

I have a best friend who has a lot going on in her life. Not necessarily good things but just a lot in general. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but basically it involves medical problems, marital problems, and TTC for almost a year. I do my best to be sympathetic towards her and do the best I can for her. Lately though, she has shut everyone out. Well, mostly me. She was the type of person that if something was wrong, she would call me and I would offer support. Whatever her deal is now? I have no idea. She will not tell me what is going on so I'm not sure if it's a myriad of everything or if there is something else underneath all the other stuff that is going on. I have never experienced this with any friend that I have had before. Usually if someone stops calling/texting you or hanging out you can safely assume that you don't want to be friends right?

Well, it has been 3 weeks almost. She has texted me here and there in response to mine and she does say she loves me and thinks of me all the time but then she will not talk to me at all aside from that and even then, sometimes she doesn't text me at all or ignores my phone calls on purpose. For example, I haven't been feeling well lately. I didn't intend on telling her anything unless I thought it was more serious and I would need to pay a visit to the grand ol' hospital. Well, last night I felt like crap and was trying to get a hold of her because I thought I would be going. She ignored my texts and my phone calls. She finally texted me back saying "I can't help you. I'm sorry."

What kind of a friend is that? If anyone else had done that to me, I would have told them I no longer want to be friends. I have just never met anyone so self-centered before and that's saying a lot because I've run into quite a few. I have pretty much left her alone when she told me she needed space to figure things out and I figured after 3 weeks things would be back to normal. I guess not. Who knows how long I'm going to have to wait? 3 more weeks? A month or two? One of our mutual friends told me this. "Just don't stand there and wait. Live your life with our without her. When she's ready to come back in your life deal with it then. Until that happens, just forget and move on." I couldn't have said it better.

Have you ever had a friend like that? If so, what did you do? Did you stay friends with them or did you call it quits?


Nicole said...

Believe me, I have the exact same issue with a "friend." It's gotten to the point that I take everything she says with a grain of salt, I don't expect phone calls or texts, even if they are promised. It starts to get old after a while.

Hopefully (soon) both of our friends will realize what they are missing!

Brittany Sommer said...

I haven't had a friend that shut me out because of problems they have in their life but I have a friend (my best friend of 12 years) who will go weeks without responding to my texts or calls and then will just pop back up to see if we can hang out. It's frustrating. Good luck with this sweety!